Despite always loving writing, the one thing I've never been able to keep up and enjoy consistently is daily journals. I find it hard to write when I don't think anyone but me is going to read it, and I don't necessarily find myself interesting enough to read about. But something I do find I enjoy a lot is writing letters to people. I have a pen pal in Arizona and I love writing letters to people in general, whether I end up sending them or not.
I was talking to Bryce and another friend of mine, Sam, yesterday about vivid childhood memories and it got me thinking about little me...the person I was growing up. So I thought I'd write a letter to her and give her some advice. Maybe this advice will help you, too!
^^^^Alysse, Chloe, and I a few years ago
Dear Michelle,
You're never going to get to read this letter, but I really wish you could. By the time you get to my age, your life is so much better than you dreamed it would be. You're 18 now and about to graduate high school. You've been accepted into college, and you're nervous, but mostly excited. You're not going to college where you thought you were going to go. You're not dating who you thought you would end up with either. I know this may seem like a shock to you, but it's a really good thing, I promise!
Here's a list of things that I know now, that I wish you had known:
-Chasing and dating boys doesn't make you feel better about yourself and it doesn't make you cooler. Just stick to being good friends with people, and don't focus too much on finding the right person for you. You met him when you really weren't looking for him at all.
-Your panic attacks and anxiety are definitely scary right now. It's really hard for you to see past that, and I know you feel a lot more alone than you act. They will go away, and you will be so much more confident than you are. Do not be afraid, because the biggest thing you have to combat your panic is Jesus. He is the ultimate Comforter and Protector.
-Speaking of Jesus, you should definitely spend more time with Him. Like actually, I know you don't think it's that big of a deal, but you should definitely get deeper into the Bible and actually listen during church, instead of passing notes with Alysse or Chloe. ;)
-Eventually, you cut all your hair off! You totally won't believe me, but I'm not kidding. You will actually get to a point in your life where you're confident enough to rock a pixie cut. (Look it up. You look good in it)
-Don't get so worked up about what people think about you. In the long run, it doesn't really matter as long as you're honoring God and being as kind as you can. Also, you're definitely still working on this one.
-Challenge your mind. Please write more stories, start playing the piano more, read as much as physically possible. You're still working on this one too.
-Love yourself. I know this one is really hard, but you have to make sure you don't tear yourself up. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're really not all that bad. ;)
Love,
Michelle
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